Gone Again

I love being an empty nester.

I also love it when my children come home for a visit.

And when they leave again, I have mixed feelings.

That probably makes me an average mother of adult children, which is okay.

John has been home on leave for a month after finishing his Navy schooling. Yesterday he left for his first ship, the U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln, which is currently refueling the nuclear reactors that power the ship and undergoing an overhaul in Newport News, Virginia. These overhauls take so long that John could spend the rest of his Navy career on a ship that never leaves the dock. (Unlike the U.S.S. John Stennis in the picture, which Roland and I saw when we were in Hawaii several years ago.)

Roland is cheering because he got his office back. (It doubles as John's bedroom.) I'm cheering because I won't worry about my 26-year-old son when he is out with friends until 2:00 a.m. Yes, I know he is a responsible adult, but I'm still a mom. (Not that parents ever stop worrying about their children, but I'm less likely to worry about things I don't know.)

And I'm happy that my adult children have lives of their own. We raised them to be independent, so should I complain because we succeeded?

Not I.

Human Again

Nine months ago, my son enlisted in the Navy and signed up for a position with a waiting list. This week, he finally left for boot camp.

During the last four-and-a-half months John has been living at home because it made more sense than renewing his lease in September. Still, it interrupted the life Roland and I had as empty nesters.

Don't get me wrong. I love my children. I love it when they come home for a visit, and I love it when they return to their own lives.

That's because I also enjoy being alone with my sweetheart. And I feel more responsible for my children when they are living at home.

So I love being an empty nester. It makes me feel human again.

Well, not really. I've always felt human, so the "again" doesn't apply. But my return to empty nesting does have something in common with the furniture and the dishes in Walt Disney's Beauty and the Beast when they sing about being "Human Again."*

We'll be floating again

We'll be gliding again

Stepping, striding

As fine as you please

Like a real human does

I'll be all that I was

On that glorious morn

When we're finally reborn

And we're all of us human again!

Does any loving parent ever stop feeling responsible for his or her children? Probably not. But there comes a time when they have to be responsible for themselves. Roland and I raised our children to be independent, and being empty nesters is evidence of our success.

It's also evidence of our children's success.

Congratulations, John. We're proud of you.

_____

*"Human Again" lyrics by Howard Ashman.