A Tale of Two Rivalries

In 2003, Roland, John, and I spent New Years week in New Orleans. Although we probably knew there was a Sugar Bowl game on New Years Day, we didn't pay much attention. Before we went, that is. Once we got there, we couldn't avoid the Georgia Bulldog fans. Not only were they everywhere, but they were loud and rude. They also kept us sleep-deprived, coming in drunk at 6:30 a.m. the first night (or morning) we were there and throwing a loud party in the hotel courtyard the last night. And based on they way they acted in public, I'm guessing that they weren't very courteous to the Florida Seminole fans either before the game or after the Bulldogs won. Not a good advertisement for the University of Georgia.

Contrast that with Saturday, when I attended a Rivalry Party at one of 80 locations around the world. These parties were set up to watch the 2011-2012 season's second basketball game between Hope College and Calvin College, and fans from both schools attended. Over the years, the wins and loses have been fairly even, and this year the better team won, with Hope beating Calvin 83-70. (For those of you who don't know, I'm a Hope graduate and the daughter and mother of Hope graduates.)

Hope and Calvin are Division III teams, and they have a lot in common. Hope is located in Holland, Michigan, and Calvin is 30 miles away in Grand Rapids. Both schools have Dutch roots, and they are affiliated with sibling Christian denominations--Hope with the Reformed Church of America, and Calvin with the Christian Reformed Church. These commonalities feed the rivalry, and even the NCAA has recognized the rivalry's strength. (Read the NCAA article here.)

Still, the hallmark of the Hope-Calvin rivalry is not the fierce competitiveness it generates but the sportsmanship and respect that each team and its fans have for the other team and its fans. That's why I'm proud to be part of it.

Last Thursday I listened to my fellow Toastmaster Carol Kelly give a speech titled "Competition." The gist of the speech was that competition is good because it fosters teamwork and perseverance and other good values. But I especially liked this line: "Winners and losers are products of competition, but they're not the outcome."

Because it isn't winning or losing that defines a rivalry. It's the attitude.

When Money is Another Way to Care

Big-eyed, starving orphans from far-away lands. Tornado victims from nearby towns. Homeless men and women without hope. So many causes to choose from.

As the mailman delivers the contribution statements and receipts I need for tax purposes, I notice that some of the causes I used to give to aren't represented this year, and my giving to others has decreased. I wish that weren't the case, but with a reduced income since my retirement, I have had to make some tough choices.

No one can give to every cause that tugs at his or her heart. So how do we choose among them?

Many people contribute to organizations and causes that touch their lives. A widow may give to the local hospice organization that provided emotional support when her husband was dying. A cancer survivor may give to a national organization that funds cancer research and education.

People also contribute to organizations and causes that touch their hearts. Someone who has never known hunger may give to a food pantry. And someone who has never been out of the United States may give to foreign missions.

Choosing a cause or causes is only the first step when giving to national and international organizations. There are a number of groups that fund cancer research, for example. So how does someone narrow it down to one?

When considering charities with similar goals, it helps to ask each for a copy of its annual report. The annual report should describe what the organization does and provide a breakdown on how it spends its money. Two cancer organizations may fund both research and educational efforts, but one may spend the majority of its funds for research while the other spends a larger percentage on education. A person more interested in funding research to find a cure might choose the first, while someone more interested in educating the public on prevention and early detection might give to the second.

The amount the charity spends on its programs is also a consideration. The Better Business Bureau's Standards for Charity Accountability suggest that at least 65% of a charity's expenditures should go towards its programs rather than for administration and fundraising. Organizations that rely heavily on volunteers often dedicate an even larger percentage to their programs.

Most charities are required to file Form 990 with the IRS. If the annual report does not provide the information you need, the organization's most recent Form 990 and some simple math will show how much the charity spent on its programs that year. Small charities and some religious organizations are not required to file Form 990, however.

If you itemize deductions, you need to know whether the contribution is tax deductible. Just because an organization is tax exempt does not mean that your contributions are tax deductible. If an organization's primary purpose is to influence legislation, for example, you cannot write off your contributions. You may still want to contribute, but make sure you know whether your gift is tax-deductible before preparing your taxes.

The Federal Trade Commission's Bureau of Consumer Protection publishes a fact sheet called "Charitable Donations: Give or Take?" that provides additional tips for checking out a charity before contributing. The fact sheet is available online at http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/edu/pubs/consumer/telemarketing/tel01.shtm.

I'd like to give money to every worthy cause that comes calling, but that isn't practical if I want to eat. And even if I gave everything I have, it wouldn't be enough. So I select a few causes and organizations that touch my life and a few more that touch my heart.

Because it's all about making choices.

Addicted to Reading

Erasmus said, "When I get a little money, I buy books; and, if any is left, I buy food and clothes."

I'm not quite that bad, but the "not quite" is only because I'm addicted to food as well as books.

The school my children attended through 8th Grade is having its Scholastic book fair this month. Fortunately, I'm immune. That's because the school my daughter teaches at had its book fair in December, and I filled up on Scholastic books then.

I come from a family of readers. (What else would you expect with a name like Page?) But we had neither a local bookstore nor the money to spend there, so most of our reading material came from the school and county libraries. And living in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan where the deer outnumber the people, even the selection of library books was limited, so I ended up reading those books multiple times.

The Scholastic book orders that came to my classroom were the joy of my young life. My parents paid for one or two books a year, and I bought more when I had saved enough of my allowance. Of course, reading isn't limited to books, and I always had at least one magazine subscription. But I am eternally grateful to Scholastic for giving me the opportunity to buy books that weren't available at either library and that--wonder of wonders--I could actually own.

Because reading is an addiction I'm proud of.

Let It Snow

The six inches of snow we had on Friday wasn't the first significant snowfall this winter, and it was no big deal. Not for someone who grew up in Michigan and has spent most of her adult years in NW Indiana.

I love living in a part of the country that has four distinct seasons. And even though winter is not my favorite of the four, I love it, too.

The pristine look of newly fallen snow. The lace and spangles sewn onto trees and bushes by Mother Nature. Even the invigorating exercise when the snow is dry and easy to shovel.

Winter is great when I have gasoline in the snow blower and hats and gloves and boots to go with a nice warm coat. But since I can never be sure when that first significant snowfall will arrive, it pays to be prepared long before I expect it.

Death is like that, too. Roland's father was prepared. Dad and Mom not only got their wills in order, but they planned and pre-paid for their funerals. They even set aside the clothes they wanted to be laid out in. So when Dad died earlier this month, there was little left to do.

Still, wills and funeral arrangements are insignificant compared to the question of where we will spend eternity. Dad was a committed Christian, and he knew his answer to that question. When death came, he was prepared to spend the rest of his life with his Father.

The first snowfall can surprise us with its timing, and so can death. Are you prepared?

Precious Memories

The best Christmas present I got last month was the one I gave my mother.

I admit it. I gave my mother something I wanted myself. And I took it home with me rather than letting her keep it.

But Mama still appreciated the gift. That's because she believes in passing on memories, and my present allows her to do that.

My father took lots of slides as we grew up, so I gave Mama a machine that transfers slides to digital files. Daddy took this picture (as a slide) on Easter 1954, when I was three.

I don't have a slide projector and screen, and it's hard to divide one slide among three siblings, anyway. That's why the digital slide converter was the perfect gift for all four of us. It helps us share precious memories.

My parents did a good job preserving their memories for their children and grandchildren. My mother sought out and compiled a detailed family history going back to the early 1800s, when her ancestors were still in Germany. A family history rich in stories as well as dates. And Mama's memoirs tell about her life growing up. She didn't cover her adult years because my father included much of that information in his own memoirs, which became his vocation after he retired from the ministry. My father's family tree goes back to the 1600s for most branches, reaching into England and Canada. I wish I had more stories about my Daddy's early years and his ancestors (especially his Grandpa Gibson), but I still have a solid framework to pass on to my children.

The memories are skimpier on my husband's side. One of Roland's cousins several times removed put together an extensive family history for Roland's father's paternal side, and I am extremely grateful. Unfortunately, we don't have much of a family tree for Dad's maternal side or for either side of Mom's family. Dad didn't think his own life story was interesting enough to pass on, and Mom seems to feel the same way about hers. So I'm glad that we sat down with a tape recorder one Christmas and asked my in-laws a few questions about their early years.

Memories are precious, and once they are lost they can never be retrieved. So make sure you save yours and pass them on.

In Memory

Nolan Edmund Ray Camp, 1925-2012.

My father-in-law was permanently cured of his cancer on January 3, 2012, at the age of 86. His family will miss him, and his wife of 64 years will miss him most of all, but we rejoice knowing that he has gone to be with his Father.

Dad had his own brand of humor. In the early years of my marriage, he introduced me to people as "my daughter-in-law the liar--I mean the lawyer." And every time he found a new lawyer joke, he made sure I heard it. But he got along very well with this particular lawyer.

Growing up during the Great Depression, Dad never got beyond a high school education. Still, he always found a way to support his family. A hard worker, when the children were small he took a second job at a gas station to supplement his pay as a mailman.

Dad cared about the education his children received, sending his two sons and three daughters to a Lutheran school through eighth grade. The public school was nearby, and the Lutheran school was not within walking distance. Although tuition was free for church members, transportation wasn't. So the fares to ride the public bus system came out of his meager funds.

A committed Christian, Dad was very active in his church. When the time came to leave this world for a better one, he was ready.

Happy celebration, Dad.

I Wish You Courage

Schindler's List was the first.

On December 31, 1994, when our children were eleven and eight, we started a family tradition. We had always taken Caroline and John to the New Year's Eve service at our church, and that didn't change. But now we waited until after church to eat and had a supper consisting of cheese and crackers, raw vegetables, and bagels with cream cheese. And we ate on TV trays in the family room while watching a rented movie.

Schindler's List was rated R, but Roland and I thought our children show know about the Holocaust in all its horror. So we decided to watch the movie with them that New Year's Eve.

Some of the years following didn't have a Schindler's List equivalent, and then we selected lighter fare. But our first choice was always a movie that carried a strong message and was better watched in our presence.

As the children grew up and left home, Roland and I continued the tradition, although we now choose movies just because we want to see them. Last Saturday night's movie, however, fit the original criteria, and it happened by default. I wanted to see the movie, but Roland agreed mostly because he wasn't thrilled with any of the other choices. He thought it was a chick flick, and I expected it to be simple entertainment. We were both wrong.

We watched The Help.

I highly recommend The Help to anyone who hasn't seen it. I don't want to give away too much, but the basic plot revolves around a young journalist writing a book about the lives of black women working as maids in white households. On a deeper level, the movie deals with racism in the South in the early 1960s, and although it has touches of humor, it is also grimly realistic.

And it contains the same message as Schindler's List. Overcoming injustice takes a lot of courage, but it is worth the risk. We don't have to be part of the threatened group, either. Schindler was not a Jew, and the writer in The Help wasn't black. In fact, she was raised to be a typical Southern belle.

So here's my resolution for 2012 and my wish for you this year: to have the courage to take a stand against injustice.

That won't keep us safe, but it will make us better people.