Story Comes First

 

I have been writing a historical novel about living in the Pullman neighborhood during the Pullman strike, and I recently sent it to my middle-grade beta readers. This is the first novel I wrote with a male audience in mind, so it was the first time I used boys as beta readers. The boys who enjoy historical fiction liked it, but the ones who don’t found that it dragged too much. One boy said, “the first chapter didn’t have enough action and I lost interest quickly,” and two mentioned that the last chapters were boring.

It wasn’t hard for me to identify the problem. One reason I write middle-grade historicals is because I believe it’s important for today’s children to know about their history. But my readers want a story, not a lecture. So when I wrote the next draft incorporating my beta readers’ suggestions, I kept that in mind.

First, I added more action to Chapter 1 and eliminated some of the information I had wanted to convey about living in the Pullman neighborhood. That information slowed the story down and was there because of my desire to teach, not because it was important to the story. So it had to go.

I also added several fights. The story still doesn’t show the full violence of the strike since that took place outside the Pullman neighborhood, but the fighting does add to the story while making it more interesting.

Then there were those last two chapters that even I found boring. I had used them to sum up the lessons I wanted my readers to learn. Unfortunately, they dragged the story down rather than adding to it. Fortunately, the previous two chapters had already done a good job bringing closure to the story. So after incorporating a small amount of material from the last two chapters into earlier ones, I simply deleted them.

The story is much stronger now thanks to beta readers who followed instructions and gave me their honest opinions.

Because of their comments, I swallowed my desire to lecture and put story first.

Writing Lessons from A CHRISTMAS CAROL: A Subtle Message

 

The third installment in this series was originally posted on 12/21/2015.

Writing Lessons from A Christmas Carol: A Subtle Message

A Christmas Carol teaches me how to weave a subtle message into a story.

Wait, you say. A subtle message? The message in A Christmas Carol is anything but subtle.

That depends on which message you mean. The values of generosity and kindness and the possibility of redemption are all front and center, but that is only part of the point Dickens makes.

There was nothing politically incorrect about the Christ message in Dicken’s day, but that didn’t mean everyone wanted to read books about it. So he wrote a story that took place at Christmas and extolled Christian values but had a seemingly secular focus. On the surface, anyway. The Christ message was still there, but it was woven into the story in subtle ways. I have highlighted the most important words in these examples:

·       Near the beginning, Scrooge tells his nephew that Christmas has never done him any good. Here is part of the nephew’s response: “But I am sure I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round—apart from the veneration due to its sacred name and origin, if anything belonging to it can be apart from that—as a good time: a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time.”

·       This passage comes during Scrooge’s discussion with Marley’s ghost: “At this time of the rolling year,” the spectre said, “I suffer most. Why did I walk through crowds of fellow-beings with my eyes turned down, and never raise them to that blessed Star which led the Wise Men to a poor abode?”

·       After Bob Cratchit and Tiny Tim return from church, Tiny Tim leaves the room momentarily. While he is gone, Mrs. Cratchit asks how he behaved in church. Bob says he was as good as gold and remarks on how Tiny Tim says the strangest things. “He told me, coming home, that he hoped the people saw him in the church, because he was a cripple, and it might be pleasant to them to remember upon Christmas Day, who made lame beggars walk, and blind men see.”

Dickens couldn’t foresee the future and didn’t know how easily those passages could be deleted from movie adaptations of his story. But people who read the original version still find them there.

When people are tired of hearing a message or simply don’t believe it, subtle is better. And A Christmas Carol shows me how to accomplish that.

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The picture at the top of this post shows Bob Cratchit and Tiny Tim returning from church. It was drawn by Fred Barnard for an 1878 edition of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. The illustration is in the public domain because of its age.