When I read a good
book, I see the characters and the setting and the action in my mind, playing
much the way a movie does. But notice the adjective. Only a good book does
that.
Today’s blog post discusses
those elements that make a good book play a movie in the reader’s mind. As
general categories, they cover “show, don’t tell,” action, and description.
Show,
Don’t Tell
Objective:
To keep the reader interested by showing those aspects of the story that are most
important to plot and characterization and telling the rest.
Given that
objective, the category may be misnamed. It would be more accurate to say “when
to show and when to tell,” or simply “show versus tell.” However, the concept
is usually described as “show, don’t tell,” so I’ll stick with that.
I’ve read many
different definitions of “showing.” Some limit themselves to action, while
others include descriptions of persons, places, and things that include enough
detail to visualize the subject. Some definitions embrace entire passages that
mix action with simple statements of fact, while others parse out the two. We
won’t get into that debate here. For our purposes, if it helps you visualize the
scene, it is showing. The best way to describe the difference is with examples.
TELLING:
Brian kissed Karen angrily.
SHOWING:
Brian grabbed Karen’s arms and gripped them as he smashed his lips into hers.
The writer should show
only those aspects of the story that are significant elements of plot and
characterization. Showing takes more space than telling does, and if a writer
shows everything, the book will be massive. Massive and boring.
It’s impossible to
do justice to this concept in the limited space I have here. You can learn more
about it in the blog posts linked below.
For purposes of
the rubric, the proper use of showing versus telling is worth 10% of the score.
Action
Objective:
To use strong verbs and limit actions to those that either develop a character
or move the story along.
There is a lot of
overlap between this element and the previous one. Action is the strongest way
to show. However, it deserves its own category.
There are two
points here. First, a good writer will use strong verbs to convey the action at
hand. Rather than walking slowly, a character could amble or shuffle along. Or
instead of just blowing, the wind might gust or wail. This eliminates those
pesky adverbs, too.
Second, we don’t
want to hear every detail of the protagonist’s morning routine. If the fact
that he had cereal for breakfast becomes important later, then tell us he had
cereal for breakfast (a perfect example of when telling works best), but don’t
show him pouring it into the bowl, adding milk, and taking a bite. Not unless
those actions help develop his character or move the story along, that is. And
if nothing about breakfast is important to the story, leave it out. You can
find a more extensive discussion of this issue in a post I wrote for the
Indiana Writers’ Consortium blog (linked below).
For purposes of
the rubric, action is worth 5% of the score.
Description
Objective:
To use strong nouns and limit description to that which is a natural part of
the story.
The first part of
the objective concentrates on using strong nouns. “House” doesn’t say much.
“Shanty” and “mansion” do. This is also a good way to eliminate adjectives and
tighten your writing.
Then there is the
question of how much detail to provide, which may vary with the audience. Some
people like to be spoon-fed with a complete physical description of every major
player and location. When I was younger, I liked that too. Now I want just
enough detail to give me the flavor or atmosphere and let me use my imagination
to fill in the rest.
Of course, there
are usually some items that are important to the story and need to be
described. I’m currently working on a book that takes place during the Civil
War siege of Vicksburg. The residents lived in caves, and the setting is crucial.
If I left the cave description to the reader’s imagination, the reader would
probably imagine something from his or her own experience, which would probably
be wrong. So I described the cave and its furnishings, right down to the fact
that there were quilts on the sleeping platforms instead of mattresses. But I
didn’t describe the quilts, because that isn’t necessary.
Point of view is
important here, though. If I had a POV character who loved quilts and examined
every detail, then I’d bring the reader along as she did it. For example,
“Charlotte ran her fingers over the outline of the log cabin pattern. The blue
and green pieces brightened up the dark space, but how long could the quilt survive
in the cave before the fabric became dingy and stained?” My character doesn’t
think about those things, however, so I didn’t describe them for my readers.
Point of view also
affects how the protagonist is described. A person doesn’t normally see himself
unless he is looking in a mirror, and even then he might be paying more
attention to shaving his face than to admiring it. Furthermore, the mirror
trick is often a lazy writer’s tool that doesn’t sound natural. That doesn’t
mean you can’t describe your protagonist, but you have to be creative.
For purposes of
the rubric, description is worth 5% of the score, giving the movie aspects a
total of 20%.
__________
TO LEARN MORE:
If you want more of my
advice on these issues, here is a list of earlier blog posts.
Show, Don’t Tell:
Action:
Description:
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