Roland
and I were married 45 years ago yesterday. You might think we would get to know
each other better as the years go by, but it isn’t true for us, or at least for
me. Yes, I’ve learned some things about Roland, including how he likes his
coffee, but the thing I’ve discovered most is how much I don’t know.
Gift-giving
is a good example. The first year we were together, I did pretty well picking
out a Christmas gift. Since then, there have been some occasions where I found
the right gift, but those are rare. Roland does a better job overall, but he doesn’t
always pick out the perfect gift for me, either.
Part
of it is that we both have a tendency to buy whatever we want for ourselves,
which doesn’t leave much to give as gifts. But that isn’t all there is to it.
Sometimes I’m just wrong when I think Roland will like something. Fortunately,
neither of us has gift giving/receiving as our love language.
We
went out for a nice dinner for our anniversary, and Roland paid for it. For my
part, I put long thought into a gift for him and came up empty. I finally
bought him an Amazon gift card that he will probably spend on something he
would have bought anyway.
Still,
that’s okay. Marriage isn’t about the physical gifts you give each other. It’s
about love as demonstrated by willingness to compromise, serving each other, and
affirming each other. We have that in abundance.
Which is why it’s 45 years and counting.
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