Reading as Grief Therapy for Children: Fiction to Help Older Children Deal with Divorce

Although death is the ultimate loss, is isn’t the only one that affects children. Today’s blog post will list fiction for older children in which the main characters are dealing with their parents’ divorces.

As with the books on death in the last two posts, I have read each one myself and have left off several that I did not think would be helpful. Unfortunately, none of these works well for boys. But here is my list of recommended books for girls.

·       Big & Little Questions (According to Wren Jo Byrd) by Julie Bowe—A nine-year-old girl tries to keep her parents’ divorce a secret from her friends but discovers that honesty is a better choice.

·       The Twelve Dares of Christa by Marissa Burt—For the first time in her life, Christa must spend Christmas away from her father after her parents separate.

·       One Crazy Summer by Rita Williams-Garcia—In this classic novel taking place in 1968, Delphine’s parents have already been apart for seven years, and she and her younger sisters are used to living with their conventional father and conservative grandmother. When they are sent to spend the summer with their mother, Delphine must learn to live with the unconventional woman she barely remembers and doesn’t respect.

·       Two Naomis by Olugbemisola Rhuday-Perkovich—This is a contemporary story about two unrelated girls with divorced parents. When one Naomi’s father begins dating the other Naomi’s mother, both girls must learn to accept new people into an expanded family.

·       It’s Not the End of the World by Judy Blume—When Karen’s parents announce that they are getting divorced, she tries to find ways to keep them together. This book was published in 1972 and is dated, but it shows how divorce affects everyone in the family, which hasn’t changed.

Next week I’ll talk about a helpful resource for parents.

Reading as Grief Therapy for Children: Fiction to Help Older Children Deal with Death

There are probably a lot of good non-fiction books to help older children deal with death. In my experience, however, fiction tends to have a greater impact at this age, so my list is limited to middle-grade novels.

Parents should read these books first and decide whether their children are mature enough to handle them. Everyone grieves differently, and you may be the best person to judge which books will help with your child’s grieving process. For example, If Only is an excellent book for older girls, but it deals with the death of a mother. If your daughter has lost a friend or a sibling, that can trigger fears that her mother will be next. In that situation, If Only is not the right book for her.

There is another reason why parents should read these books first. Knowing the story will help you answer your child’s questions and can lead to meaningful discussions.

As Mr. Rogers says in a book I’ll discuss in two weeks, “When people read about things in a book, things that they’re going through, it can be comforting to know others are living through times like that, too.” (Dear Mr. Rogers, Does It Ever Rain in Your Neighborhood? Letters to Mr. Rogers, pg. 120.)

Girls often read books with characters from either gender, but boys are usually interested in only those stories that have a male protagonist. My summaries identify books that may work for boys.

I have organized my list by the relationship between the person who dies and the main character, but each one may help with other relationships, as well.

Some of the following descriptions include spoilers.

Death of a Friend

·       Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson—This classic middle-grade novel is of interest to both boys and girls. The first three-quarters of the book develop the friendship between Jess and Leslie. Then Leslie dies and Jess has to come to terms with both his grief and his guilt at not being there when the accident occurred. Caution: Sudden death comes as a shock in real life, and it comes as a shock here as well.

Death of a Sibling

·       Mick Harte Was Here by Barbara Park—The narrator’s brother is already dead when the book opens, but it is his story. Although the narrator is a girl, her style of telling and her dead brother’s presence throughout the pages make this a good read for both boys and girls.

·       Planet Grief, which is described below under “Death of a Parent,” has a secondary character who lost a sibling.

Death of a Parent

·       If Only by Carole Geithner—This contemporary novel covers the first year after thirteen-year-old Corinna’s mother dies of cancer. It is an excellent book for girls whose mothers have died and for those who want to understand a grieving friend. Caution: This book might be too intense for girls who are dealing with the death of a friend or sibling and now fear that their mother may die, too.

·       Planet Grief by Monique Polak—In a contemporary novel for both boys and girls, two young teens attend a grief workshop after each has lost a parent. Caution: One of the secondary characters lives in a family with two mothers and had a sibling who died of SIDS. The book neither endorses nor rejects the lifestyle but shows that people in all types of families grieve when a member dies.

·       Esperanza Rising by Pam Muñoz Ryan—After the unexpected death of Esperanza’s father, her mother moves them from Mexico to California. Esperanza must discover how to handle her mother’s grief as well as her own while adjusting to a new place and a different lifestyle.

·       Walk Two Moons by Sharon Creech—In this classic middle-school novel, a girl takes a road trip with her grandparents and learns how to deal with the death of her mother. The book includes themes about mothers who leave home.

Next week I will move on to divorce.