There are probably a lot of good non-fiction books to help older
children deal with death. In my experience, however, fiction tends to have a
greater impact at this age, so my list is limited to middle-grade novels.
Parents should read these books first and decide whether their children
are mature enough to handle them. Everyone grieves differently, and you may be
the best person to judge which books will help with your child’s grieving
process. For example, If Only is an excellent book for older girls, but it deals with the death of a
mother. If your daughter has lost a friend or a sibling, that can trigger fears
that her mother will be next. In that situation, If
Only is not the right book for her.
There is another reason why parents should read these books first.
Knowing the story will help you answer your child’s questions and can lead to
meaningful discussions.
As Mr. Rogers says in a book I’ll discuss in two weeks, “When people
read about things in a book, things that they’re going through, it can be
comforting to know others are living through times like that, too.” (Dear Mr. Rogers, Does It Ever Rain in Your
Neighborhood? Letters to Mr. Rogers, pg. 120.)
Girls often read books with characters from either gender, but boys are
usually interested in only those stories that have a male protagonist. My
summaries identify books that may work for boys.
I have organized my list by the relationship between the person who
dies and the main character, but each one may help with other relationships, as
well.
Some of the following descriptions include spoilers.
Death of a Friend
· Bridge to
Terabithia
by Katherine Paterson—This classic middle-grade novel is of interest to both
boys and girls. The first three-quarters of the book develop the friendship
between Jess and Leslie. Then Leslie dies and Jess has to come to terms with
both his grief and his guilt at not being there when the accident occurred.
Caution: Sudden death comes as a shock in real life, and it comes as a shock
here as well.
Death of a Sibling
· Mick Harte Was
Here
by Barbara Park—The narrator’s brother is already dead when the book opens, but
it is his story. Although the narrator is a girl, her style of telling and her
dead brother’s presence throughout the pages make this a good read for both
boys and girls.
· Planet Grief, which is
described below under “Death of a Parent,” has a secondary character who lost a
sibling.
Death of a Parent
· If Only by Carole
Geithner—This contemporary novel covers the first year after thirteen-year-old
Corinna’s mother dies of cancer. It is an excellent book for girls whose
mothers have died and for those who want to understand a grieving friend.
Caution: This book might be too intense for girls who are dealing with the
death of a friend or sibling and now fear that their mother may die, too.
· Planet Grief by Monique Polak—In
a contemporary novel for both boys and girls, two young teens attend a grief
workshop after each has lost a parent. Caution: One of the secondary characters
lives in a family with two mothers and had a sibling who died of SIDS. The book
neither endorses nor rejects the lifestyle but shows that people in all types
of families grieve when a member dies.
· Esperanza Rising by Pam Muñoz
Ryan—After the unexpected death of Esperanza’s father, her mother moves them
from Mexico to California. Esperanza must discover how to handle her mother’s
grief as well as her own while adjusting to a new place and a different
lifestyle.
· Walk Two Moons by Sharon
Creech—In this classic middle-school novel, a girl takes a road trip with her
grandparents and learns how to deal with the death of her mother. The book
includes themes about mothers who leave home.
Next week I will move on to divorce.
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